Thursday, April 22, 2010

Tomorrow marks Reagans One Week Birthday

One week ago today, I went into labor with our angel baby. I was told ruptured patients often labor for weeks, if not months, so it was nothing to be concerned about. I was given a "cocktail" ... morphine in my iv, a morphine shot, ambien, phenergan, and vistaril. In a 7 hour span, I was given this "cocktail" THREE TIMES. Never once did it take the pain away ... just made me more doped out of my mind then I knew possible. The doctor was convinced that if she could get me calmed down, and possibly to sleep, labor would stop. Man, how she was wrong.

A week ago tomorrow, our precious baby girl was born. She was pefect in every possible way. I know every parent says that about their child but SHE WAS. We are having a service to celebrate Reagan's life tomorrow. The thought of it makes me sick. To know that it's already been a week since we've held her ... then, after tomorrow, life will resume to "normal" in the Straub household. I don't think it'll ever be "normal" again. I can't imagine. We'll try ... but how can we be complete without one of our children??? Please pray for us. I feel empty. An emptiness I have never felt in my life.

 I am also struggling with so much physical pain. When I was in the hospital, I wound up getting a herniated disc and a bulging/dislocated disc in my back. I am seeing a neurosurgeon about possible surgery on my back (praying for just cortisone shots)... but, for the time being, I am absolutely miserable. I can barely walk, can't pick up my kids, bend over, drive, and am depending on medicine to remain sane. Anyone who knows me knows I HATE this. I am NOT a person who likes medication ... for certain reasons, so this is really hard on me. Please pray for the pain to stop without having to take meds!

Tomorrow is Reagan's service ... and we will be okay.


8 comments:

  1. God bless you and your family. Words fail me now, but I pray that you find comfort.

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  2. I'm so sorry for your loss. G-d bless.

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  3. Praying for you in pa. I can't imagine your pain but God knows... Keep taking everything to Jesus.

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  4. Praying for you in Michigan.

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  5. Praying for you in Oregon. I have never felt a loss like you have and I am very sorry you have had to go through it. But I must say there is hope and I know of a woman who has suffered the same grief you are suffering and she writes about it. Her Blog is http://www.raisingarrows.net/
    She has a series called "The Grieving Mother" that you can click on and follow her through her journey and I am sure it will help you through yours! God Bless you and your family.

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  6. I am so sorry about your baby girl. Little angel.

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  8. Praying for your family. Blessings from Michigan

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