Thursday, April 29, 2010

Certificates ...

My best friend, Kelley, came in town today with her precious 9 week old baby girl. I haven't seen Kell since Christmas and she was still pregnant at the time. Today was my first time meeting her sweet baby and she is a total sweetheart. Cam and Peyton absolutely love Baby R (much to my surprise, Peyton absolutely ADORES her) ... and, yes, it hurts knowing our boys will never have their little sister to love and adore like they are Baby R. I hate they don't know her and will never have the chance of knowing her ... not until we leave this world, that is. At the same time, I'm so thankful for such wonderful friends who are willing to fly across the country to be with us. I'm thankful that Kell lets me love on Baby R (because, you all know, even though she's not my "real" niece ... she's still my "niece"!:)) but knows me well enough to take Baby R back when she see's I'm about to have a meltdown. One of those "meltdowns" came today when James walked in the door from work. He was holding Reagans Birth and Death Certificates. Wow, what parent thinks they will go pick those up at the same time? I was sitting on the couch, holding Baby R, and told James I couldn't look at them. I tried not to sob ... but, Kell knows me better than I know myself at times... and asked if I wanted her to take the baby. I told her yes, handed Baby R back and just started to bawl. It's official ... Our Amazing little girl was born April 16th at 7:04 am weighing 2lbs 12ozs and 13 inches long. She went home to be with the Lord at 11:45 am.  She made it almost 5 hours ... she was such a fighter, she was our fighter and we are so incredibly proud that she is our daughter.


  1. Lauren you are so parents should have to do this. I am writing this through tears and I am so sorry for your pain right now. You and James have been amazing and we will continue to lift you up in prayer. I am so glad Kelley could be there with you for a few days.


  2. My heart is so full with so many emotions for you right now.... pride, pain, hope, sadness, etc, etc.... I love you and I am so glad you are able to hold a baby in your arms and continue to hold your baby in your heart.... knowing that the Lord is holding Reagan in HIS arms and loving her more than we can ever understand the word "love"....